Hearts and Minds
by October Sky
Summary: My P.O.V. on Hearts and Minds. Jack and Sayid continue analyzing Sawyer’s letter, which could lead to Sawyer's exile, and Boone continuously finds himself in deadly situations as memories of the past haunt him. In editing as of 3.3.06.
1. Attack

**Hearts and Minds**

**Summary:** Jack and Sayid continue analyzing Sawyer's letter, which may lead Sawyer to exile. Meanwhile, Boone continuously finds himself in deadly situations as memories of the past haunt him.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Lost, I'm just an obsessed fan. Most of this is written based on my own theories, spoilers, and pictures that were put out. I'm going with the ideas I had before some of the newer information was put out. And the idea of the name Andy was pacifically taken from Andy on Cheers, who was an ex-con that tried to kill Diane.

**Flashback notes** The only flashbacks in this series that aren't different from the show are Locke's, Sun/Jin's, and Hurley's. Also, in some cases characters, such as James in WTCMB really represent characters like Tom in the show, I just didn't know their names at the time. If you haven't cought on, flashbacks are in italics.

Jack finished reading the letter, completely forgetting about what he was doing before.

"This.. this is Sawyer's?" He asked, though he already knew the answer.

Sayid nodded.

Jack could hardly believe it. He knew Sawyer wasn't exactly good, but he hadn't expected anything like this.

"Where'd you find it?"

"By his stuff on the beach," Sayid answered, "it must've fallen out of his pocket."

"Do you know where he is now?" Jack asked.

"I haven't seen him for at least forty-five minutes," said Sayid.

Jack didn't respond.

"What do you want to do about this?" Sayid asked him after Jack didn't respond.

Jack shook his head.

"Maybe we're missing something," Jack said, picking up the letter again.

Sayid looked doubtful, but didn't say anything as Jack began rereading the letter.

Boone was picking through the wreckage that was due to be drug into the cave area tomorrow, in hopes of a last minute find. Actually, he was praying for a last minute find, because he knew he didn't need his bag only for Shannon's medicine.

"What hell are you doing here?" A voice asked behind him.

Shannon. He groaned. She was the last person he wanted to see. When he had graduated for college, he had dreams of never having to talk to his sister again, not chase her around the world and then end up on an island with her until the end of time. But here, in the middle of nowhere, Boone knew he had no choice but to continue to look out for her. He had no one and she had no one. The only person each other had was the one person each couldn't stand. Once again, he was left to pull her out of trouble, risking his life, and then receiving nothing but her smart ass attitude for thanks. Not that that was any different from the way it had always been..

"_What the hell are you doing here?" Shannon demanded as she opened the door._

_His sister had gotten her own apartment the day she turned nineteen, after spending a year in Paris on a 'school trip'. Or at least that's what she had told their parents. Shannon had never been the one to work hard in school, or even pass for that matter. She had gone to Paris with an unchaperoned art class that had supposingly gone to study museums. That was a laugh._

"_You have to hear me out," Boone said desperately, fighting to get inside the small apartment._

"_You can't stand to not be able to control my life, can you?" Shannon shot, her eyes glaring._

_What a lie. It hadn't been Boone's initial idea to come all the way to Louisiana from California to save Shannon's skin again._

"_Trust me, you're going to want to hear this," Boone said, prying the door away from Shannon's fingers._

"_You wanna bet?" Shannon said, trying to close the door on his fingertips._

"_Will you stop acting like your seven and just listen to me?" He said loudly, interrupting her._

_A resident from an apartment four doors that was unlocking his door looked over there way, and then quickly went inside._

"_After all that's happened, do you seriously think I would come all the way from California just to drop in?" He asked just as she was closing the door for a final time._

_Shannon stopped, considering it._

"_Fine," she said, shaking her head, "you have ten minutes."_

_Boone sighed in relief, and stepped in. The first thing that he noticed was that Shannon had repainted, again. Well, Shannon hadn't, most likely she had some decorating team come in and do the apartment for her. The wall were a light blue, with a slide door that led to a balcony off the fourth floor. A black leather couch set in front of a glass coffee table. A high definition tv and DVD player was in front of that. A short hallway led to a bed room and bathroom, and there was a small kitchen with only a small refrigerator, sink, and microwave. God only knew Shannon never cooked for herself. She shut the door behind him as he walked in._

"_I can see you've finally straightened the place up," Boone commented._

"_Shut up and tell me what you wanted," Shannon sighed, sitting down, not offering Boone a seat._

"_That guy you're seeing, Anthony?"_

"_Andy," Shannon corrected._

_What a name, Boone thought._

"_Whatever," Boone said, waving it off, "he's no good."_

"_What?" Shannon demanded._

"_All he wants is your money," Boone said quickly._

"_Oh that's bull-"_

"_All he cares about is getting his money for drugs and pawn," Boone added._

"_You're just jealous!" Shannon yelled, jumping up._

"_What?" Boone demanded, almost forgetting what he had said before. "Jealous? Of what?"_

"_Of me!" Shannon yelled. "Of me and what I have and what you don't!"_

"_You'd think that-"_

"_You've always been jealous and you know it!" Shannon exclaimed. "It's because of my father that you and your mother have any money at all!"_

"_You shut up about-"_

"_And thanks to your mother, they're now divorced-"_

_It was Boone's turn to interrupt._

"_Don't you dare start blaming my mother!" Boone shouted. "It was your father who did nothing but get drunk and spend money!"_

_Shannon didn't shout back this time. She was to much in shock that Boone would go off like that._

"_Get out," Shannon said, going to the door._

_Boone recoiled, this wasn't what he needed._

"_What?" He said. "No Shannon, look, I'm sorry-"_

"_Just get out!" Shannon yelled._

_Boone made to leave, but stopped before leaving._

"_He wants the money," he said seriously, "and he'll do anything to get it."_

_His eyes met Shannon, trying to tell her how serious he was. Shannon just looked at him like he was unbelievable, and he left. She just shut the door behind him._

Boone shook himself out of his thoughts, finding Shannon standing, hands on hips, staring at him.

"Looking for something," Boone said, continuing his search.

"What?" Shannon asked. "Hoping someone left a nice slab of chocolate in their bag?"

"Why do you have to be like that?" He asked her, looking up.

"Be like what?"

"You know."

"No," she said, eyes following him, "I really don't."

"Come into reality Shannon!" Boone said, throwing the empty bag he was holding down. "We're stranded on some island God knows where, and all you can do is lay on the ground and get a bad tan."

"And what are you doing to help?" Shannon shot back.

"More than you."

It was all Boone could do to not blurt out everything about the hatch. Hell, hardly anyone even knew a hatch exsited. He hadn't realized until now that digging up the hatch would be a task that he couldn't brag about. To the rest of the island, he was still the young one who could chip in when he was needed to- and he did- but he really had nothing to offer. Little did they know..

Suddenly there was a roar, and both of their heads turned at the cry.

"What was that?" Shannon asked to no one in horror.

There was some rustling in the bushes, and Boone felt his heart beat slightly more rapidly in his chest.

"Shannon," Boone whispered, "come here."

Shannon shook her head. No way was she going to risk making a noise. But the rustling got closer.

"Shannon!" Boone hissed.

The rustling got closer. Nerves got over Shannon, and she took off back towards the beach camp.

"Shannon!" Boone yelled.

But Shannon kept running. Boone had no choice but to follow her. He had never realized how fast Shannon could run until he saw her run for the beach. He heard the rustling grow nearer, and looked to where Shannon had run. But she was no where in site.

"Shannon?" He asked slowly.

He hadn't even seen her switch paths. Boone didn't move until something caught his eye in front of him. But it wasn't Shannon. He stepped closer to the figure that he knew was a person but couldn't tell who it was. He closed his eyes, thinking he may have imagined it, but when he opened the person was still there, sixteen feet in front of him. Stepping closer, Boone got a better look and stopped when he saw who it was: a little girl with blonde hair, streaked and covered with blood. And that was the last thing he remembered.


	2. Getting Help

**Chapter Three:** Attack

Shannon arrived at the caves out of breath an half an hour. She didn't know why she had taken the cave route, maybe part of her just couldn't picture a monster, or whatever was out there, in the cave area. She figured Boone was right behind her, and had no idea differently. Not knowing what to do, she ran to the medicine cave where she thought she might find Jack. At least they could warn everyone.

Sure enough, Jack was in the cave, but he wasn't alone. Sayid was there too, and they seemed to be in deep conversation about a letter that Jack immediately hid when Shannon ran in.

"What?" Jack asked. "What is it?"

"Is someone in trouble?" Sayid added.

Jack caught her before she collapsed in exhaust, and handed her a bottle of water that was on one of the makeshift tables. He sat her down in one of the chairs from the wreckage, and both Jack and Sayid lowered themselves to her level.

"Breathe slowly," Jack advised, trying to get Shannon to catch her breath.

She finally did a few slow minutes later.

"You got it?" Jack asked.

Shannon nodded as she calmed down. Jack sighed in relief.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked again. "What were you running from?"

"What?" Shannon asked, looking at him. "You didn't hear it?"

Sayid and Jack glanced at each other, having no idea what she was talking about.

"Here what?" Jack asked.

"This loud.. roar," Shannon said.

Sayid and Jack just stared at her.

"We were down at the beach, by the wreckage-"

"We?" Sayid asked.

"Me and Boone," Shannon said quickly, "I found him down there. Anyway, we were talking and then we heard this loud road. Then there was this rustling in the trees. I was so freaked out, I didn't know what to do..so I just ran."

Shannon stopped short, catching her breath, feeling embarrased in the mist of Jack and Sayid, who she thought would've done anything but run away in the face of danger. Just another peeve for people to gossip about. The only helpful thing she had been able to do since the crash was translate French, which at first, she had been very crowd of. But no one put articles about translating French in the town newspaper.

"Where's Boone?" Jack asked, staring her straight in the eye.

Shannon looked around, realizing for the first time Boone wasn't with her.

"Boone didn't show up?" She asked, looking from one man to the other.

They all glanced at each other.

"Oh damn.." Shannon muttered.

The three of them were taring through the jungle back to where Shannon and Boone were on the beach. Each were screaming Boone's name at the top of their lungs in hopes of a reply. When they finally reached where the sand met the trees, the three stopped, and looked around. Shannon was the first to spot Boone lying in the sand next to the wreckage. Boone appeared injured, dead looking..

"Oh no.." she gasped, whispering under her breath, "God no.."

"Shannon.." Jack began, not wanting her to do anything stupid.

Ignoring him, Shannon took off towards where her brother lay, and Jack and Sayid took off after her within moments. Shannon collapsed by Boone's unmoving body, and Sayid and Jack stopped short above her at the sight. Sand was sprinkled over Boone's face where he had obviously rolled on the ground. Two large cuts crossed his face from his forehead down to his upper lip where something had clawed at him. His shirt was torn in numerous places where he had tried to get away, and his arm was bruised from rolling on the ground. Shannon had to hold back from breaking down at the sight.

"Oh God.." she kept repeating over and over again under her breath.

"Shannon.." Jack started again.

Shannon didn't say anything as she stared at her brother's unmoving form. Jack bent down next to her and put two fingers up to Boone's throat, praying for a pulse.

"Come on Boone.." Jack muttered under his breath.

He couldn't feel any. Sayid and Shannon watched as Jack put his head to Boone's chest, trying to feel even the slightest breath. None.

"Come on, Boone!" Jack said a little louder, as if the shouting would wake him up faster.

And maybe it did, because when Jack felt Boone's neck again, there was a beat. It was silent, and not strong, but a beat all together. He looked up at Shannon.

"There's a pulse," he said.

Shannon breathed a sigh of relief as she loosened the grip she had on Boone's hand. Sure he was a jerk, but after all the trouble Boone had gotten her out of, she realized that maybe he did really care for her, and to lose him would eat her alive.

"He'll be okay?" Shannon asked, eyes of hope boring down on Jack.

"We have to get him to wake up," Jack said, "or he might loose that breath."

Shannon stared desperately down at her brother as Jack began to slap him lightly on the cheek that was uninjured.

"Come on Boone.." Jack muttered again, "come on.. wake up."

The slaps grew gradually harder as Boone refused to respond.

"Come on Boone!" Jack shouted again as he slapped Boone harder, fearing failure, failure to Boone, to Shannon, and to himself. Beside him Shannon began trembling, and her fight to hold back tears began to fall. Sayid stiffened behind them, eyes set on Shannon in concern.

Boone finally let out a cough, and the other three let out a final sigh of relief, but no one's was as great as Shannon's. To Jack and Sayid's surprise, Shannon bent down, hugging Boone, despite his condition. Jack reluctantly pulled her back.

"Give him some space," he advised.

He looked back down at Boone, who was slowly coming out of unconsciousness.

"Can you understand me?" Jack asked Boone, praying for a 'yes'.

Boone nodded.

"Do you think you can sit up?"

From the looks of it, Jack concluded that Boone wasn't bleeding internally, and that he had luckily not broken any of his ribs. Boone nodded. Jack looked up at Sayid.

"Help me sit him up."

Sayid bent down and grabbed Boone under his right arm, and Jack did the same for his left. Together, they managed to sit Boone up against the wall of the wreckage. Jack held a finger in front of Boone's eyes and moved it left to right. Boone's eyes followed flawlessly. Jack looked at Shannon.

"He's good," he reassured.

At last Boone gained enough strength to speak.

"What happened?" He asked weakly.

Jack and Sayid exchanged a glance. Memory loss was never a good sign.

"You were attacked," Jack explained, and then stopped. "You don't remember..anything?"

"Not really," Boone moaned, tilting his head to the side, wincing in pain. He stared out at the nearby ocean, listening to the crashing waves that were threatening to lure him back into darkness. Closing his eyes, he turned away, trying to block out the sound, and trying to avoid the three pairs of eyes watching his every move.

Jack paused, thinking, then:

"We need to get him back to the caves," he said to Sayid, who nodded in response.

They made to help Boone stand, but Boone suddenly gasped as pain shot up the side of his head. Boone brought his hand to where the pain was, and brought back blood. Jack glanced at Sayid again.

"We need to hurry."

They bent down once more, but Boone stopped them.

"Wait," he said suddenly, "I remember something."

The other three looked at him.

"There was this girl," Boone said weakly, remembering, "she looked seven.. eight? Blonde. She was bleeding.. bad.. everywhere.."

A pause followed.

"That's not possible," Jack said finally, breaking the silence.

"Do you remember what happened next?" Sayid pushed, hoping to get an answer while Boone was still remembering.

But Boone shook his head again.

"I blacked out," he said.

It took longer than normal to make the trip to the caves, with Boone in tow, but with both Jack and Sayid's strength, they were able to hurry down most of the straight trails. They unintentionaly left Shannon behind to follow, but what they didn't realize was that the fast movement was causing Boone to fade in and out of consciousness. The castaways in the open cave stood immediatly at their entrance, confussed and worried, as the two ran in with the body they couldn't identify. Sayid turned to Shannon, who had only just caught up, not wanting any trouble to arise.

"Can you take him?" He asked her.

Shannon nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, I think.."

Sayid didn't give her time to finish as he lowered the half of Boone into her arms. Ignoring the heaviness, she helped Jack continue carrying Boone into the caves. When they finally arrived, Jack sat him down in the chair from the wreckage. Boone laid with his eyes closed, but Jack knew he wasn't unconscious.

"Deep breaths," he told Boone, "deep breaths."

When Boone caught his breath again, Jack began searching through the medical supplies he had gathered. Shannon was staring down at her weak brother.

"Is he going to be okay?" She asked, worried.

Jack glanced at her. From the way he had seen the two fight, he wouldn't of ever guessed that they cared about each other so much. It gave him an odd sense of relief, seeing Shannon's concern.

"Yeah," Jack assured, "don't worry."

Shannon looked doubtful, and Jack found himself beginning to feel sorry for her forcing himself to push the good feeling away. Jack rubbed his head, trying to remember where he put the medicine tape he had been looking for.

"Look, I need to go to the other cave," he said to Shannon, "I think I left something there."

Shannon nodded, not daring to take her eyes off of Boone, fearing that if she did, she'd miss his passing moment.

"Look at me," Jack said, needing to have her attention.

Shannon forced her fearful eyes away from Boone.

"If his breathing goes down or out of rhythm, come and get me," Jack said seriously.

Shannon nodded, but Jack could tell she wasn't listening to him.

"Do you know what that means?" Jack asked her.

This time Shannon didn't respond at all. Shannon was staring at her brother with hopeless guilt. Jack stopped before reaching the exit.

"He'll be okay," Jack reassured again, "don't worry about it."

Shannon didn't reply as Jack lingered a minute, then stepped out to where Sayid had been waiting the entire time. Both men glanced towards the caves where the stunned Shannon hadn't moved.

"They really care about each other, don't they?" Sayid said, who had also noticed.

Jack nodded.

"Yeah," he said, they really do."

"What do you think their story is?" Sayid wondered out loud.

Jack just shrugged, and walked the other way, leaving Sayid in his thoughts.


	3. First Help

**Chapter Three**

"Dammit!" Sawyer shouted, throwing a shirt aside. "Dammit! Where is it?"

"Where's what?"

Sawyer's heart leapt. He turned, and felt relieved when it was only Kate.

"Well if it isn't the island girl herself?" Sawyer asked, recovering. "Off duty and down from the throne?"

Kate rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"Don't change the subject," she said, pushing a stray strand of hair behind an ear cooly, "what were you looking for?"

"A lighter," Sawyer lied, "guess I 'misplaced' it."

"Don't lie," Kate warned, seeing right through him.

Sawyer didn't answer, and went back to his search. Kate watched him, beginning to figure out what was going on.

"It's that letter isn't it?" Kate realized softly.

Sawyer stopped and slowly turned around.

"Aren't you the Sherlock?" He said, trying to cover up his surprise.

"How long has it been missing?" Kate asked.

"Why do you care?" Sawyer shot back at her.

"That letter means something to you," Kate said, searching his eyes, "you wouldn't of just left it somewhere."

"Stop putting on the concerned citizen act and get out of here," Sawyer said, not caring how rude he sounded.

"Some people actually do care about others here, Sawyer," Kate replied.

Sawyer tilted his head, cracking his jaw.

"Fine then," he said, bringing his head upright, "if you really want to know, it fell out of my pocket."

"Smart," Kate said under her breath.

"What was that?' Sawyer said, catching it.

"Let me help you look for it," Kate offered.

"Why the hell would you want to do something for me?"

"Because I know what will happen if someone reads that letter and gets the wrong picture," said Kate, "and let's face it, I get around here better than you do. People aren't going to answer to you going through their stuff."

"Fine," Sawyer said, not really caring what she did, "do what you want. Look for the damn letter.

Kate nodded.

"I will."

She began to walk off back to the caves but stopped after a few feet.

"Oh, and Sawyer," she said, trying to catch his attention.

Sawyer pretended to ignore her.

"The act doesn't by me."

She threw Sawyer a smile, perking up the edges of her lips, giving her a mysterious, yet calming demeanor. With a swift graceful turn, Kate walked off. Sawyer put down the bag he was holding, and looked after her as she left, not being able but to help to wonder if she was serious. Would she really help him? He was of his ability to pull through life himselfs, the downs, going even further down, and then climbing back up, slowly but surely, only to be pushed back down. Still, it'd be nice to, for once, have someone offer to help. Someone who wouldn't push him back down.

_Boone had never been in so much pain in his life. He was unable to open his eyes for a time being, and they had never felt so heavy. His head pounded, his face was in stinging pain, and his chest felt closed up. He was trapped between what seemed like life and death, and he could do nothing but remember.._

_It was eight-thirty. He hadn't seen or heard from Shannon since two that afternoon, after their fight and her throwing him out. Boone was on his cell phone, pacing the small hotel room he had rented._

"_Come on Shannon, come on Shannon!" He repeated as he tried her phone over and over again._

_The idea of Shannon getting hurt had haunted him all afternoon, and Boone knew that was what she was destined for if he could get a hold of her._

_A voicemail came on for what seemed like the dozenth time that afternoon. Furious, Boone hung up, throwing the phone down hard on the bed. He sat down on the edge, elbows on his knees, running his hands through his hair. What was he going to do? A knock at the door drove him out of his worries, and his heart began racing. Praying it was his sister, Boone answered. It wasn't. His face fell, and Boone could feel a knot developing in his stomach. At the door stood Rodney Foster, a close friend of his who volunteered to look on the guy Shannon was seeing._

"_What?" Boone asked as Rodney entered hastily. "Did you find her?"_

_Rodney ran his right hand through his hair, which was slightly longer than Boone's, relucant to answer. No one wanted to be the messenger._

"_What?" Boone repeated, staring at his friend with an intense fear._

"_Andy Fishel has a night shift at the bar on fourth street starting at eight," he began._

_Rodney hesitated before speaking again, but finally gave up as Boone stared him down, his eyes fully of worry._

"_And?" Boone said impatiently._

"_And he never showed up," Rodney finished._

_Boone's eyes widened in horror. _

"_Sorry man-"_

_Boone shoved past him._

"_Wait!" Rodney shouted after him. "Where are you going?"_

_Boone didn't answer as he ran out of the hotel.._

Life slowly began to come back to him as he tried opening his eyes. On the third try, his vision wavered.

"Try blinking," a familiar voice advised.

Not being able to pinpoint exactly who it was, Boone obeyed, and his vision soon cleared. Jack was standing over him.

"How do you feel?" Jack asked rhetorically.

He had already known the answer.

"Like hell," Boone muttered, confirming Jack's thoughts.

"Yeah, well you're lucky to be alive," Jack told him.

"Shannon..?" Boone began to asked.

The last thing he remembered was telling Jack and Sayid he saw someone on the beach. He couldn't even remember if Shannon was there or not, and if something had happened to her..

"She's fine," said Jack.

Boone breathed a sigh of relief.

"Asleep," Jack added, "but fine."

His eyes followed Jack's to the corner, where Shannon sat against the cave wall, head rested in her hand. She would've died had she known anyone saw her sleeping like that. Shannon was the kind of girl who did her hair even before going to bed, in decorative but not too cheesy housecoat and matching slippers; all complete with silky pajamas worth thirty bucks. Boone smiled a little at the thought of Shannon trying to force herself to stay awake. She looked so peaceful, sleeping their in the corner.

"What time is it?"

"Twelve thirty," Jack answered, "give or take an hour."

"Great," Boone muttered. "So I was really attacked?"

"Gored's more like it," said Jack, "remember anything?"

"No," Boone answered, feeling helpless.

He had been in his fair share of fights before, hell, even blacked out a few times, but he had always remembered what happened.

"There's a search party going out to look for Claire in the morning," Jack said, "you shouldn't go."

"No," Boone said immediatly in protest, "I'm going."

"No, you really shouldn't-"

"I'm going Jack," Boone said, overriding him, "they need all the help they can get."

There's was no way that Jack could overrule Boone. He wasn't his father or even the local cop. All Jack could do was advise him the best he could, and if Boone didn't listen, so be it. Or at least that's how one thought on three hours of sleep.

"Just be careful," Jack advised, "but really, you shouldn't-"

"I'm going," Boone said in a dead serious voice.

Traveling around the island with Locke, Boone figured he knew the island better than anyone that would be going. Jack said nothing as he left to tell Shannon Boone was awake.


	4. Part of the Search Party

**Chapter Four:**

"I'm going!" Boone shouted for the fourth time.

The next morning was chaos. The search party consisting of Michael, Scott, Steve, Kate, and some others Boone didn't know were up at dawn, and Boone was up soon after. He was going to go, and no one was going to stop him.

"You can barely walk!" Jack argued.

"I can walk fine!" Boone protested.

"You're in no condition to do anything!"

"I'm in fine condition!"

"He's right Boone," Shannon interrupted.

"Shut up Shannon!" Boone shot back, tired of her two sense.

"We should start heading out soon if we're going," Michael said, breaking up the fight. She looked at Boone. "Are you coming or..?"

"I'm going," Boone said.

His eyes had begun to go wild, glaring at Jack, as he grabbed his pack to go with the group.

"You can't do this," Jack said.

Jack knew Boone's condition was bad, and if Boone would happen to so much as fall, he could black out for at least ten minutes. And with Boone slowly becoming crazy, it could be worse.

"Stop telling me what I can and can't do, Dad!" Boone yelled.

Everyone stopped, including Jack, who stared at Boone in confusion, but Boone didn't seem to have realized that he said anything wrong.

"Why can't you just believe that I can do something for once?" Boone shouted at Jack.

Everyone stared at Boone in confusion. Even Shannon didn't know what was going on.

"What the hell are you talking about?" She asked, staring at him.

"You shut up!" Boone yelled, rounding on her. "This is all your fault!"

"What?" Shannon exclaimed. "What's all my fault?"

"I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you!" Boone shouted. "I went to Australia to get you out of trouble! That's all I've ever done is take the blame for your mistakes! I can't do that anymore! Just for once, let me do something for me!"

Boone finally stopped, leaving everyone in silence, staring at him. Boone looked around at everyone staring at him, shook his head, and left. When no one said or did anything, Shannon went after him. She caught up with her brother ten minutes on a trail that led to the heart of the island. Grabbing his shoulder, she spun him around to face his furious face.

"What was that all about?" Shannon demanded.

"Just get out of here," Boone said as he tried to turn away.

Shannon stopped him.

"You called Jack 'dad'," she said, "you've never said that to anyone."

"Just leave me alone!"

"Stop acting like your seven and tell me what's going on!" Shannon shouted.

"Let me go!"

He shoved Shannon back, turned, and continued down the path. Shannon caught her balance before she fell, and stared after him as he walked off.

Boone had been walking for twenty minutes, and he had begun to regret leaving. He now understood what Jack meant about not being in good condition, but he wasn't about to turn back now. Staying on the straight path into the heart of the island, Boone looked ahead to see where he was going, but what he saw made him stop:

It was the girl again, standing there, still, staring at him, ten feet ahead on the path. Her face was reaked in blood, but her blonde hair stood out more than ever. As Boone walked forward, the girl didn't break her gaze. It wasn't until he was two feet in front of her that the silence broke.

"It was all your fault," the girl whispered.

Boone's eyes widened in shock and fear. He stepped back, but tripped over a tree root in the process. Losing his balance, Boone fell backwards and began to roll down the hill. He felt numerous twigs cut his face and arms, and dizziness began to take over. He felt like he had been rolling forever until his head hit something hard, and darkness took over.

"Boone!" A distance voice said. "Boone!"

He felt someone begin to slap his face lightly, and a strange sense of dejavu overcame him along with fresh new pain.

"Boone!" A new voice said. "Come on man, wake up."

Boone's head turned to the side and he let out a groan. He heard numerous sighs of relief. Slowly, he opened his eyes. Surprisingly, he didn't need to use Jack's blinking trick. He tried to sit up, but pain and soreness took over. He groaned, lowering his head back down.

"Woah, take it easy."

That's Michael, Boone realized, he was with the search party.. so where am I?

Two different hands helped Boone sit up. Rubbing the back of his head, Boone realized he supported a newly formed bump. His vision clearing, Boone looked around to see that he was still in the forest, and Kate and Michael were in front of him, and a few others were behind them.

"What happened?" Boone asked before realizing they wouldn't know.

"We're not sure," Michael said, "we turned paths and found you lying here."

He glanced at Kate.

"We thought you were dead."

It was quite. Boone was too sore and confussed to say anything, and the others too shocked.

"I'll help him get back to the caves," Kate volunteered finally.

"I'm fine," Boone said, embarrassed to need help for the second time.

"Are you sure man?" Michael said. "You look pretty weak.."

"I'm fine!" Boone protested loudly, startling Kate and Michael.

"Let's just get you on your feet," Kate said quickly.

Michael and Kate reached out, each grabbing one of Boone's arms and pulling him up. Pain shot through him, but Boone ignored it. He was getting used to pain by now. Kate and Michael let go of Boone slowly, and he immediately staggered. They grabbed him, and his head began to spin. Taking a deep breath, Boone tried to pull himself together. He could do this. No one knew, and no one had to, not if he could pull through and just get over it..by himself.

"_Sir, we can't file a missing persons report unless the person has been missing for twenty-four hours," the cop, Malcolm, said._

_Boone's head began to spin with images of Shannon hurt, dead, in an alley. The police station was bursting with constant phone ringing, shouts for orders, and the hustle and bustle of a busy office. It was giving Boone a headace._

"_But you don't understand!" Boone said, fighting to keep from shouting. "My sister- Shannon, she's gone out with this guy who's going to hurt her if she doesn't give him the money he wants!"_

"_Maybe she'll give him the money," Malcom said, assuringly, trying to calm Boone down._

_He wasn't doing a good job of it. Worry was all Boone could think of right now. A million versions of what would happen if he didn't find Shannon in time whirled through his brain,constantly taunting and poking at him._

"_She doesn't have the money!" Boone exclaimed. "Well, she does, but not with her." He shook his head. "That's not the point- you've got to help me! If something happens to her-"_

_He was cut off by the shouting of a new guy who was just brought in, cuffed. He had long, straight, sandy brown hair, and was wearing a black t-shirt with jeans._

"_This town's going to hell!" He shouted to the station. "All of it!"_

_The cops holding him tightened their grip, and led the man into a side hallway. Boone and Malcolm's head turned back to their conversation. Boone stared at Malcolm hard and realized Malcom wasn't going to do a thing for him. Slamming his fist on the table, Boone stood up._

"_You know what?" He jabbed his finger towards the man who was just brought in. "He's right."_

_He stormed out of the police station, fearing the worse._

"Boone?" Someone asked, jerking him from his memories. "Boone? Are you okay?"

"Sawyer," Boone said softly, slowly realizing..

"What?" Kate asked, stepping forward, crossing her arms. "What about-?"

Pushing Kate and Michael out of the way, Boone began running, ignoring the stares that followed.

He found Jack in the med cave, discussing something with Sayid. They turned when they heard Boone enter. Boone finally stopped, catching his breath. His muscles were protesting against life, and his head throbbed, and he was surprised he had been able to run that far in his condition. From the look in Jack's eyes, he hadn't forgotten what happened earlier.

"What happened?" Jack asked immediately.

Boone shook his head, not wanting to give an explanation. Sayid handed him a bottle of water which he took gratefully. After a few short sips, he spoke.

"It's Sawyer," Boone explained, "he's no good."

Sayid and Jack exchanged a glance. How did he find out?

"How did you find out?" Sayid asked after a moment.

"What?" Boone said, confused.

Jack glared at Sayid. He had been hoping to keep the letter silent.

"Never mind," Jack said quickly, "what were you saying?"

"I've seen him before-"

"Before?" Jack interrupted. "Before the crash?"

Boone nodded.

"At a police station in Louisiana," Boone explained.

"Why were you-" Sayid started.

"Doesn't matter," Boone said, shaking her head, "he was being arrested."

"Do you know for what?" Jack asked.

"No," Boone said, "I just remember him saying.. the town was going to hell, all of it."

The three stood in silence until-

"How long ago was this?" Sayid asked.

"Umm.." Boone thought on it, "three weeks ago."

Silence engulfed them once more as they thought about it. What did Sawyer get arrested for and how did he get out so easily? Suddenly something caught Boone's eye. He looked up past Jack and Sayid too.. the little blonde haired girl. She was staring straight at him. He heard her whisper, but this time it was in his head, her lips were unmoving.

"Your fault.." he heard in his head, "all.. your.. fault."

And Boone fainted.


	5. Strange

**Chapter Five:**

When Boone woke up, the first thing he noticed was that it was dark. The second was that he was alone, and apparently back at the caves. Boone sat up from where he lay on an airline seat, and his head immediately started spinning. Ignoring the pain, he stood slowly. Hell, he hadn't even healed from the attack last night, why'd he have to fall down that hill? His back ached as Boone tried not to think about it, and he carefully went over to where Jack's medicine was. Trying not to make a sound, he began to search through the capsules.

"Come on," he muttered under his breath, "it has to be in here."

"So you're awake."

Boone nearly jumped out of his skin. He spun around. It was Jack. What surprised Boone was that he hadn't even recognized Jack's voice.

"Wha- what are you doing here?" Boone stuttered.

You sound like a girl, he told himself.

"I came to get some stuff for Charlie," Jack said, eyeing him suspiciously.

Boone couldn't tell if Jack was telling the truth or not, but at the time, he didn't care. He was beginning to feel like hell, like the edge of death was closing in on him, and he couldn't take it anymore. He began to search through the medicine again madly, accidentally knocking a few bottles off the makeshift table in the process.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" Jack asked slowly, watching him curiously, though with obvious concern.

"Just- just get out of here Jack!" Boone said in a high pitched voice that wasn't his.

"What are you looking for?" Jack took a step towards him, and Boone's nerves grew as a trail of sweat trickled down his forehead.

Boone could tell Jack was watching his every move, and it was not only making him nervous, but beginning to annoy him. He didn't respond.

"What's going on?"

"You don't want to be here right now," Boone said, feeling like he was going insane.

This had never happened before, and he wasn't sure what to expect, but he knew it couldn't be good. His hands began to shake, turning cold. He cursed himself for not looking earlier.

"Why?" Jack asked, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm not exactly sane," Boone tried to explain.

This was going to be hard, torture, he could already tell. The bad thing was, he didn't know what to do, he had never been endanger of running out before.

"You've seen perfectly sane to me." Jack stopped. "Until now."

Boone didn't say anything. What was he supposed to say? He'd let Jack figure it out.

"What kind of drug are you on?" Jack asked, startling Boone.

Busted. He didn't expect Jack to figure it out that quickly. Boone didn't answer.

"When was the last time you took it?"

Once again, Boone didn't reply.

"I know every drug that's in there," Jack said, "I'd know if it was there."

No reply.

"So what?" Jack asked. "Is it anti-depressants?"

Something about that word seemed to touch a nerve in Boone's drug-owned brain. Throwing down the pill bottle he had been holding, he shook his head, storming out.

God, he thought, surprised his thoughts were still his own, you're acting like you're asking for a divorce.

_He had failed. He knew it. He'd have no choice but to kill himself now, because it would be done by higher authorities in the near future if he didn't take care of it himself. He kept telling himself it wasn't his fault, that he warned Shannon, and that she should've listened to him. But he didn't. Andy was still missing, most likely out of state by now. Boone shook his head, doing a bad job at convincing himself to stop thinking like that. His heart stopped suddenly at the sound of something hitting the ground. Looking down, he saw it was an unused, unopened prescribed pill bottle. Boone picked it up, looked at it, and began to open it.._

_Boone tried to shake himself out of it as he continued down a path he had choosen in the jungle. walking iniwhat felt like slow motion, not helping but to remember what happened next.._

_Letting the drug sink in, Boone continued walking down the abandon street, feeling slightly better. He was considering turning back and going on a search for Andy's place when he heard a scream. His head jerked to the sound, which came from an alleyway by a closed pizza parlor. Running, he prayed he wasn't too late._

_The alleyway was dark except for an exit's signs bright red light on the side entrance of the parlor. A dumpster wasn't to far. Looking ahead as he ran, Boone could make out a figure on the ground in the distance, and somehow, he knew it would be his sister. Sure enough, it was. He dropped by her side._

"_Are you all right?" He asked immediately, worried and concerned._

_Shannon nodded, sobbing. It actually looked like she had fallen from shock, not from being pushed._

"_Do you think you can stand?" He asked softly._

_Shannon nodded and did, catching some tears before they ran down her face as she did. For the first time, Boone got a good look at her, making sure she was all right. She seemed to be, except for a light bruise and bleeding coming from the upper right side of her head, seeping through the makeup so heavily applied. For the first time, the thought of this happening before began worrying him._

"_Did he hurt you?" Boone asked, mentally kicking himself._

_What a stupid question, but he truly wasn't sure what to say in a situation like this. Panic and worry was all he could think of._

"_He tried," Shannon said through sobs, "you were right he wanted money too.. too.."_

"_Shh," Boone said trying to calm him down._

"_He said.. he said I knew now," she said, trying to contain herself, "something about some loan sharks.. no one was supposed to know.. and I did.."_

"_It's okay.."_

_Shannon shook her head. It wasn't okay._

"_I think he was going to try and kill me," she sobbed, "or..or-" she shook her head, "but I.. I pushed him back.."_

_Thank God for horseplay, Boone had thought, all those weekends grounded finally paid off._

"_He pushed me again, knocking me over..I hit my head when I fell," she continued, "and he ran.. I don't know why."_

_Boone could tell she was losing some blood, and getting dizzy._

"_I'm gonna take you to the hospital," he told her, taking her by the shoulders to keep her from shaking._

"_No!" She protested._

_The last thing she wanted was to be seen in public. Boone saw that, but didn't care. He had saved her once, but if she had a concussion, or worse, he didn't know if he'd be able to again._

"_No," he said, "just.. don't worry.. you'll be fine.."_

_Shannon let out another sob, hiding her head in her hands, collapsed to the ground. Not able to bare seeing her like this, Boone wrapped her in his arms, holding her closely as he repeated the phrase over and over again, closing his eyes and telling himself the same thing._

He hadn't realized how close to the ocean he was until he heard the high tide crashing against the waves. Boone stood, staring into the ocean, just ten feet from where the tide hint. Down the beach, there were a few other castaways, looking like they were about ready to go to sleep. A distant fire was dying. He had been staring at nothing, hoping the ocean's soothing sounds would help clear his head. That was, until something appeared in the water. The little blonde girl was standing twenty feet into the raising water. Boone watch as she stared at him, seeming to get closer and closer to shore until.. she was engulfed by a ten foot wave. In his mind, he heard a distant scream, and reacted on first instinct.

Taking his shoes and socks off, knowing they would hold him down, Boone dashed towards the waves, and dove in. He winced as the salt touched his wounds, but that didn't stop him. It was dark underwater, so dark Boone knew it was useless to even try and see. He rose above the water, trying to catch his breath, but he was too late as a wave hit him head on, sending salt water up his mouth and nose, choking him, and causing him to black out..

"Jack! Jack!"

Jack looked up from where he had sat down by the fire. He had never been a heavy sleeper, and figured he wouldn't of been able to get to sleep even if he hadn't been preoccupied by what Boone was talking about. Hurley was standing in from of him, out of breath from running. Jack hadn't even known he was awake.

"What?" He asked, seeing whatever it was, it was urgent. "What happened?"

"It's Boone!" Hurley said, catching his breath. "Someone found him washed up on shore and.."

"What!" Jack exclaimed, leaping to his feet.

"I don't know what happened," said Hurley, "but he's not breathing. You better get down there, and fast."

By the time Jack reacged the beach, there was a small crowd around a body that had been dragged twenty feet from the shore. Jack only recognized Kate out of the group of castaways.

"He's breathing," Kate informed him as he approached.

"How?" Jack wondered outoud, looking down at Boone.

Boone was drenched in water from head to toe, and didn't look good. Kate nodded to a young woman who looked twenty-five behind her.

"I learned CPR in a baby-sitting class," the castaway explained.

"Good," Jack said, nodding, "yeah good."

He turned to the group.

"Look, he'll be okay," he said, "but I need some help getting him back to the caves."

A few other men volunteered, and a hour and a half later, Boone woke up once again in the caves.


	6. Leaving Home

**Chapter Six:**

Jack yawned as he went back to his spot aside everyone else in the caves. Boone wasn't going to wake up any time soon, he knew that, and Shannon was there with him if he did, she could call for help. Looking around, he made sure no one was watching, and took out Sawyer's letter, beginning rereading it for dozenth time. There was something about the letter that seem to grasp his attention, something that just didn't seem right, but he couldn't place it. Suddenly, the snapping of leaves and twigs behind him drew his attention away from the letter. Someone was watching him.

Jack stayed absolutely still, hoping the person would still pass by. Silence overtook his area, and he thought he was safe, until he felt cold steel against his neck. He froze.

"Give me my letter," a low, rough voice said behind me.

Sawyer, Jack thought miserably.

"Look," Jack said, trying to keep himself from shaking, "we can talk this out-"

But the breath was knocked from him as he felt a sharp kick to the side. He felt himself roll to the cave floor, feeling the rough surface touch his cheek. He stopped on his back, and looked up to Sawyer, who looked ready to kill. He also noticed two bags of what looked like all of Sawyer's stuff on the ground not far from him, along with a large bottle of water.

"That's the problem, doc," Sawyer said, "I don't 'talk things out'."

He advanced on Jack, who found the strength to stand up. Behind his back, Jack put Sawyer's letter in his pocket. Sawyer was about to make a move, but Jack was quicker, knocking the stolen knife out of Sawyer's hand and pushing him backwards. The two were immediately drawn into a fight.

Sawyer got a few lucky punches into Jack's ribs, but it was Jack who got the winning punch to Sawyer's jaw, jerking his head to the side. Grabbing him, Jack took hold of Sawyer, holding the knife to the man's neck. Sawyer struggled, but Jack had the advantage hold.

"Now listen," Jack said in a low voice, "I don't give a damn what you've done in the past, or who you did it to, but if you lay so much as a finger on anyone on this island, it'll be the last thing you do."

"Oh I'm scared now," Sawyer smirked, but he shut up as the knife dug closer into his neck.

"I'll give you your letter, under one condition," Jack continued.

"What?" Sawyer said, trying to hold himself still under the knife.

Jack brought the knife down, pushing Sawyer away from him. Sawyer caught his balance, and his breath, easily, holding his glare on Jack.

"Now what is it you want?" Sawyer asked a low voice.

Jack stopped, catching his own breath.

"I want you to leave," he said finally, "go somewhere else, and don't come back."

Jack glanced around the caves, thinking of the other castaways.

"And I think that speaks unanimously," he added.

Sawyer stared at him.

"Are you serious?" He asked, incredulous.

"Dead."

Sawyer's eyes grew cold, devilish, and if Sawyer had a gun, Jack knew that would've been the end of his life.

"Fine," Sawyer said, grabbing his letter from where it had fallen on the ground. He looked back at Jack. "But don't consider this getting rid of me. Consider it me leaving."

Without looking back, Sawyer began to leave.

"And for the record," Jack continued.

Sawyer stopped.

"Stay away from Kate."

Shaking his head, Sawyer snorted, and began what was going to be a long night.

Once Sawyer had left, Jack threw the knife down. He couldn't believe what he had just done. Instead of killing him quick and easy, he drew it out, condemning Sawyer to a life of exile, most likely leading to starvation and dehydration.

But he deserved it, Jack reminded himself, and he was more than willing to go.

Footsteps broke his thoughts, bringing him back to reality.

"Where was Sawyer going?"

Kate. The one person who would be concerned about Sawyer, and the last person he wanted to see at the moment.

"Where was Sawyer going?" Kate said again, staring Jack down.

Kate glanced at the knife on the ground, and noticed Jack's shaky behavior, easily putting together that something was wrong.

"He was leaving," Jack said finally.

"Leaving?" Kate said, puzzled. "What? Back to the beach? The tide's up-"

"No," Jack interrupted, not wanting to do this. He took a deep breath, knowing this wasn't going to turn out good. "he left. For good."

"What?" Kate exclaimed.

She stepped closer to Jack, as though challenging him.

"What did you do?" She demanded.

"Why does it have to be my fault?" Jack asked, finding himself unable to look at Kate in the eye.

"He didn't exactly look willing to go."

Jack looked her way for the first time.

"That's exactly what happened," he said, not sure to believe what she told him.

Kate looked about ready to explode. And she did.

"I can't believe you!" She yelled, then lowered her voice, and stood inches from his face, forcing him to look at her. "I never thought you'd sink this low."

"Kate-"

She didn't respond. Looking down, she made up her mind, and began to walk out.

"Where are you going?"

Kate didn't answer as she kept walking.

"Kate!" Jack called aft


	7. Chapter Seven

Hearts and Minds  
Chapter Seven

Author's Note: I figured an entire chapter of flashbacks would be hard/annoying to read, so just note that this is a flashback. And a little bit of pg-13 stuff shows up. Nothing serious, but just a warning. Hope you like it!

_Damn the heat,_ Boone groaned as he entered his high-rise apartment, coming in from another long day of work from the local pool. It was California, why not go to the beach? So he had been left in charge of the indoor pool from six to eight A.M., and then he had been one of four lifeguards in the outdoor area from nine to three. A hour and a half later, he was finally home, and ready to go to bed to sleep until the morning.

He threw his soaking wet towel on his well used couch, not caring if the material got wet and figuring he would take everything to the laundry mat tomorrow. He was about to see what he had left in the refrigerator when a voice startled him.

Well look at you, said a woman's voice, twenty-five years old and you still can't pick up after yourself.

Boone turned around. Standing in front of him was his mother, Anne, who was well in her fifties. She had blonde hair that fell to her shoulders in a perfect cut, and caring blue eyes.

Boone said, showing his surprise.

Walking towards her, he pulled her into a hug.

You weren't supposed to be here for two more days, he said as they broke apart.

Is that all you can say to your poor mother? Anne teased.

It's not like we never talk, Boone said, covering for himself.

And I wanted to thank you for that, she said, smiling at him, to thank you for helping me.It's nothing, Boone lied, I need the money.

Truthfully, he hated his mother's wedding business. Of all the things that could be done in L.A., he had to be encharge of a _wedding_ business. But he wasn't about to disappoint his mother, and he did need the extra cash. It _was_ the business of all businesses, and he _was_ in charge. His mother took his hands in hers, like a mother would do to a young son, and looked at him, as if realizing how proud she was of what he had become.

I missed you, she admitted, it gets lonely down there in that house, all alone.

Embarrassed, Boone let himself out of the hold.

I missed you too, he assured, but mom, you've got to let me go. I mean, I'm going to college next year.

Finally, he added in his head I finally got in.

Or more like he finally had the money. His dad had left when he was seventeen, taking his portion of the money, which was over half, with him.

Don't think about that, he told himself, snapping out of it.

Are you okay? His mother asked him, looking at him in concerned.

he said, nodding, I'm fine. It's nothing.

There was an awkward silence as Anne Rutherford looked away, down at the floor, as if there was something she was hiding.

He asked slowly, watching her.

She didn't answer.

What is it?

His mom hesitated, then finally spoke.

I just wanted to thank you, she said, holding back tears, for helping out Shannon..

She began as a tear let lose and began to fall.

She pushed him away.

No, no, I'm fine, she said, shaking her head, it's just.. Boone asked, watching her closely.

Then he understood.

You didn't come here just to think me, did you?

Guilty, his mom shook her head.

You got me, she said, trying to make herself laugh a little.

What is it? He asked, not sure if he wanted the answer.

And his mom didn't answer.

He said, getting worried. It's not Shannon is it?

No answer.

She's okay, isn't she?

Shannon stayed only a week in the hospital, mostly due to an asthma attack that had gotten bad. After she was out, Boone dropped by her apartment in Louisiana, to check on her. He found her reading an Oprah magazine, which he would've laughed under any other occasion. The magazine described a small vacation resort in Australia, a popular spot for people who were under too much stress, or just wanted to get away. Shannon had been to Australia with her father when she was three(their parents had met when they were seven), and hadn't been back since. So Boone said, why not go now? She gradually took a liking to the idea, rented a beach house in Australia, and caught a red-eyed flight.

Shannon's going on trial Friday, his mom finally said, and I want you to go pick her up, and go with her. To the trial. Boone exclaimed. No, mom, I can't.. His mom begged as her eyes began to swell with tears. She needs you- Boone shouted, starling his mother. I'm not covering for her again!Boone, what are you talking-I can't spend my life running around, getting Shannon out of trouble! He cut in.

He stopped as his mom stared at him, and he realized what was going on as he seized his head in pain.

What's wrong? His mother asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Boone swept it off, recovering.

I'll go, he said, trying to gain control of himself.

What's wrong? His mom asked, trying to get an answer from him.

I'm fine mom, he lied, I'll go. I'll do what I can. I promise.

His mom smiled, grateful, which brought a small one to his face.

I never see enough of that, she said, seeing the smile.

Boone laughed a little, then kissed his mom goodbye,

his mom said.

He turned. What could she want now? If she held him any longer, he knew he might change his mind.

Take this, she said, handing him a blank check.

Boone asked, confused.

Fill in however much you need, she said, this trip's on me. I'll look after the apartment.

She glanced around.

And I might even clean up some, she added.

Boone shook his head, turned and left.

And be.. careful! His mom added, yelling after him.

Out in his car, Boone stopped before starting up his four year old silver sudan, thinking about what he was about to do. He reached inside the pocket of his jacket, feeling for..

Remembered it Boone though sighing in relief, because it would've looked suspicious if he had gone back upstairs, claiming to have forgotten something, and then come back empty handed.

Putting down the blank check carefully, Boone looked back, pulling out of the parking lot.

......

Australia was even hotter than L.A., something Boone hadn't imagined possible. He stopped for lunch at a small burger grill right down the street from the airport, rented a car, and searched for the beach resort.

The vacation spot was beautiful, relaxing, one of those places that made you want to drop everything and move at first glance. Shannon's beach house was the last on a row of small, one or two bedroom condos. The exterior was yellow, and the yard was well kept. The back met the sand, and the ocean was in view. There was a light breeze from the waves. Walking up to the porch, Boone knocked on the door. There was no answer, but Boone could easily see a blue tv light shinning through the front window. He banged harder.

Come on Shannon, he muttered under his breath.

No answer. He looked around, making sure no one was watching(he didn't want to look suspicious), and tried the doorknob. It turned slowly, and clicked as the door opened. Cautiously, he entered the beach house.

He called. You in?

No answer. Can laughed echoed through the halls.

Come on, he said, don't ignore me!

He took off his brown leather jacket, placing it on a chair that belonged to a glass dinning room table. Quietly, he walked towards the blue glow. He thought of knocking on the wall as he entered the room, but ruled against it, knowing the tv would drown the sound anyway. But he wished he had decided differently as soon as he entered.

Shannon was in the room, the tv was on, but she wasn't alone. Andy was there, under her, as they kissed as if they had been separated by war and brought back together. Boone felt the anger build up in him, and wished he had gone ahead and taken the medicine and instead of deciding to wait. Because it was going to go all out on Andy.

What the hell? He yelled, furious.

Shannon jumped back in shock, and Andy struggled to sit up, straightening his shirt.

I can't believe you! Boone shouted at Shannon, advancing towards her.

I can explain- Shannon started.

Like hell! Boone shouted, advancing towards her. You don't see what's going on, do you?Hey, stay away from her! Andy said as Boone's face grew furious.

Oh go to hell! Boone said to Andy, thinking of nothing but how much he wanted to kill both of them at the moment. He rounded again on Shannon.

All I've ever done is help you! He yelled in her face. And you've done nothing but get into more trouble, making stupid decisions!Oh that's bull- Shannon began.

Surprising himself, Boone shoved her back, causing Shannon to lose balance and fall to the floor.

but Andy couldn't finish as all his range was put out in a punch to Boone's face.

Boone felt his head snap to the side as his cheek began to burn. Andy was down at Shannon's side to help her up, but she didn't take it as she chose to stay on the floor, glaring up at Boone. Andy round on him.

Do you think it's easy for her, Andy began, to live to exceed you? To be as good as you, who has an apartment in L.A., who runs a business and has another part time job?

Don't try to justify what she's doing! Boone yelled, recovering from the punch. He jabbed his finger in Shannon's direction. I came here to help you with your trial, to help you get through this.

He looked from Shannon to Andy next to her.

But it looks like you don't need it.

With that he turned, leaving the room. Shannon looked at Andy helplessly, then stood up.

Boone, wait! She called.

She chased after him, catching up as he was headed out the door. Boone looked at her, waiting for her to begin talking.

Hear me out, she said finally.

When Boone didn't say anything, she continued.

He just got here yesterday, she began, he said that he was sorry, that he was drunk.. that night. He wanted a second chance. She took in a breath. And I gave it to him.

Boone couldn't say anything, because he knew if he did, it would result in a fight.

I don't know what I was thinking, she admitted quietly.

Boone finally found something to say.

You weren't.

Shannon looked down.

Just tell me one thing, he said.

She looked up again.

Did he try and hurt you again? He asked seriously.

Shannon shook her head.

she said truthfully, I swear.

Boone looked away, and then back at Shannon.

he said, I'm going home.

He opened the door, but Shannon put out hand to stop him.

Take me with you, she said.

His eyes met hers: she was serious.

He didn't understand, and began to think that maybe his mind had started to play tricks on him.

Come on baby, Andy said, breaking up the conversation, we were about to go out to eat, remember?

Boone looked at Shannon, and so did Andy. Shannon looked to the floor.

Andy said, looking from Boone to Shannon.

I'm going home, Shannon said quietly.

Andy exclaimed. No, no you're not-My mother's sick, Shannon lied, I need to go see her. Andy said shaking his head, you're lying.I'm not, Shannon said, unable to look at him.

Andy grabbed her arm.

Come on Shannon, he said, what about all that we talked about? We'll never meet again.

Shannon tried to get out of his grip, but it was too tight. Boone's arm came around, and smacked Andy across the face. Andy stumbled back, letting go of Shannon's arm. Shannon rubbed her arm that had turned a light red color. Boone put his arm around her, glaring down at Andy, and led her out the door.

Author's Note: Once again, I've never had to write anything like that before, so I hope that wasn't too bad. Don't worry, Boone will come around next chapter and you'll get the rest of his(well, my version of his) story. Hope you all are having a good holiday! Until next time..

October Sky


	8. Chapter Eight

Hearts and Minds  
Chapter Eight

Just when Boone thought he couldn't of been in any more pain, it came, and worse, it came slowly. He felt as if he were being crushed by a pile of bricks that lay on his chest. His lungs had closed in, his eyes felt heavy, and his head was spinning out of control. All he wanted to do was die and get it over with, but something inside him protested. He felt his eyes lift and a blurry figure came in to view, blocking everything else out of view. Blinking a few times, he realized it was Jack, who wasn't close to him at all, but sitting to the far side of the caves, in deep thoughts, which Jack quickly broke out of when he saw Boone was awake.

What happened? Boone heard himself ask.

Normally, Jack would've told him or someone in his condition to be quiet, and not try to talk, but even in his condition, Boone could tell something was bothering Jack, and that something big had just happened. Either way, Jack didn't answer his question.

Three times, was all Jack said, holding up three fingers, three times in the past two day you've almost gotten yourself killed.

Boone didn't say anything. What was he supposed to do? Whine and say it's not my fault'?

We have to do something about this drug, Jack said, or this will keep happening.

He stopped, giving Boone a chance to register this through he brain, which was taking a while.

What is it? Jack asked after the pause.

Boone asked, confused.

What's the drug you're on?

Boone groaned as he tried to sit up, and settled for laying down. What he was really trying to do was avoid answering.

Jack continued. How serious is it?

Boone tried to close his eyes to block Jack out, but halfway through the process he became nervous that they wouldn't open again, and as long as he knew he was going to live, he figured he might as well see it.

Jack said, standing up o leave, impatient, I'll just go ask Shannon.

Jack got all the way to the exit of the cave before Boone realized what Jack and just said.

Shannon doesn't know, he said as well as he could.

Jack turned around.

Shannon doesn't know about the meds, Boone said, trying to regain his voice, infact, up until four weeks ago, I hadn't even talked to her in months.She doesn't know? Jack repeated, sitting back down.

No one knows.

Jack took this in.

How long? He asked. Is this some new thing or-Eight years.

Jack stared at him.

Eight years? He repeated. Eight _years_?Since I was seventeen.

Boone took a breath, knowing he was about to have to pour his life out. And he hated that. He hated becoming a soft person, and he didn't want to sit through a therapy lesson from some doctor he only met two weeks ago. Especially a doctor he didn't always agree with. Then again, if it was only he and Shannon in this situation, he still wouldn't want to tell her anything. He hadn't spoken in eight years, and he didn't want to start now.

Shannon and I aren't really brother and sister, he began, only half. Our parents met when I was ten, Shannon was seven. Her father had the money. Made my mom rich. He owned a chain of restaurants in L.A.I don't see where this is going-He hated the way I acted, Boone continued, knowing if he stopped he wouldn't be able to continue, hated the way he said I treated Shannon. He always wanted me to act the way he wanted. It drove me crazy.

Jack nodded, understanding what he meant.

I didn't get my license until I was seventeen, Boone said, trying to ignore the pain in his throat, I celebrated with some friends, got drunk, and tried to drive home. I got around the first corner, and didn't know the light was read..

Boone stopped before continuing, remembering the incident like it was yesterday.

I didn't even see it coming, Boone continued, there was just this light and then..

He couldn't say it. He was embarrassed, not being able to talk about an incident that happened eight years ago. He took a deep breath, and continued.

I ran from the scene, he said, all I found out later was that there was a girl that died in the other car..

He stopped again.

My dad found out about the wreck through the paper, he said, going on, he was the only person who knew I had the car that night. He couldn't even look at me after that. He told me that he didn't want me bringing him down. That he didn't won't his reputation killed if it leaked out. So he made up some excuse to my mom.. and left. Haven't seen him since.And that's when you started the meds? Jack said, putting it together.

Boone said, not wanting to continue the story. They never found out that I was in the car. It wasn't mine, it was a friend's who skipped down the night after the accident, so my mom never found out.. and I didn't tell her. When she asked me what happened that night I told her I got in a fight.

He stopped again, thinking of how to say what happened next. Finally, he remembered.

Shannon got even worse after that, he said, started making all these stupid decisions. Going out with the wrong guys, failing at school. My mom always left it up to me to get her out of trouble. Then.. I started having some serious issues. These hallucination spells.. After I fainted one day my girlfriend took me to a doctor. He prescribed the meds, said I would be on them for the rest of my life. There some sort of anti-depresant type thing. I was eighteen so I didn't need a guardian. I went under a fake name. No one ever found out.

Stopping, he hoped that could be the end of the interrogation.

So why were you in Australia? Jack asked, interested in his story now, but feeling sorry for Boone all the same.

Boone figured there was no way around answering, this guy had basically just saved his life three times, so he owed him.

Shannon got into some trouble four weeks ago in Louisiana, he said.

When you were at the police station, Jack remembered.

Boone said, but she would kill me if I told you about it. Anyway, she went on this vacation thing in Australia, and I went to..

He stopped, knowing he couldn't tell anyone about the trial.

Bring her back home, he lied, and that's how we ended up here.

It was a lot for Jack to take in, but he got it. Especially the father part he could understand.

So what should I do? He asked Jack.

Jack had been thinking about this. First Boone needed to find a way to ease his mind, and then find some kind of replacement drug. Otherwise it would turn out the worse.

You need to tell Shannon. He said finally.

Boone exclaimed. No.. I can't..The little girl you keep seeing in these hallucinations, Jack said, you don't know who she is, do you? Boone said, she was just always what came to mind after I heard about the girl that died-But you never saw a picture of her? Jack cut in. Or knew a name?I'm no psychiatrist, Jack said, but I'm thinking the girl resembles your sister. Boone said. Shannon? No.. I think I would know my hallucination-But you said you never saw a picture of that girl, Jack interrupted, and you said that Shannon started getting herself into some serious trouble. Subconsciously, I think that you could be feeling guilty for that. Boone said, not believing it, I would know- Jack said, the meds? You wouldn't.

Boone understood as that sunk in. He knew Jack was right.

Talk to Shannon, Jack said again, it's a start.

He stood up.

I'll go get her.

Telling the story again was the last thing Boone wanted, but he knew Jack was right. He took a deep breath, as he prepared his next version..

Author's Notes: Wow. Cheesy ending, but that's what happens at 3:45 A.M. None of this story is intended to be slash, so just remember that! I don't read or write slash! Well, hope you liked it! Oh, and thanks for the reviews!

October Sky


	9. Sorry Seems To Be the Hardest Word

Hearts and Minds

Chapter Nine

Disclaimer: "Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word" was written by Bernie Taupin and is sung by Elton John with music by Elton John.

Jack walked back towards the main caves, ignoring the staring eyes that followed him, wanting to know what was going on. All he wanted was to know that Kate was okay, that she'd come to her senses, and wouldn't be a fool and go through the jungle at night..

_What have I got to do to make you love me?_

Boone was back at the beach, watching the high tide roll in. He had just told Shannon everything, and hadn't said anything when she ran off.

_What have I got to do to make you care?_

Sayid sat alone at the beach, staring into his own fire.

_What do I do when lightening strikes me?_

He was alone, and that was fine with him. He was beginning to wish he hadn't left Nadia's pictures at the French women's shelters. What was he trying to prove? That he was strong? Obviously, he wasn't that..

_And I wake up to find that you're not there?_

_What do I do to make you want me?_

Jack was walking to the beach. After searching for a while, he had finally found a drug that he thought might work, or at least for a while. Really, he was only walking to try and keep his mind off Kate, to keep from wondering why she would rather go off after Sawyer, and not him. It was then it struck him, was he.. jealous?

_No,_ he told himself, not jealous. _Not of Sawyer. That's just.. wrong._

_What do I got to do to be heard?_

All he wanted was to tell Kate he was sorry, that all the pressure of being everyone's 'hero' was driving him to the limit, and that he needed someone there to keep him sane.

_What do I say when it's all over?_

Shannon was sitting in her chair on the beach. For the first time since being stranded on the island, she wasn't thinking about boys, or the first expensive restaurant she'd go to when they'd get off the island. She was thinking about what Boone had told her. She didn't want to believe it, that everything truly was his fault, and for the first time in her life, she felt sorry about it, sorry for him.

_And sorry seems to be the hardest word._

Kate had been walking for nearly two hours, and there had been no sight of Sawyer, or even a sign that he had been in the area. She was beginning to think that maybe, for some reason, he had changed his mind, and gone back to the beach, and that she was being stupid, going off in the jungle alone. But she couldn't think like that, because that would be saying that Jack was right.

_It's sad, so sad._

_It's a sad, sad situation._

_And it's getting more and more absurd._

_It's sad, so sad._

Back at the beach, Jack had finally caught up with Boone. Sitting down, Jack handed Boone the medicine bottle. Boone took pills two dry, then handed the bottle to Jack, as if offering him some. Jack took the bottle, and couldn't help but to wonder if he should take one, and let something else control his life for a while.. and maybe, with a little help, he could talk to Kate without going crazy.

_Why can't we just talk it over?_

From a distance, Shannon watched as Boone took the drug, and began to wonder why it was that she never noticed..

_And oh it seems to me_

_That sorry seems to be the hardest word_

Locke rested against a tree as he caught hs breath. He'd been walking for two days around the underground, and still to find no sign of Claire. He thought about going back to the caves, to give the others an update, and then thought against it. It was just the thought of being around so many people for the first time in a long time. And so many people that depended on him. It made him nervous, paranoid. For the past months, all he had was a phone girl that charged him $89.95 an hour. A girl that he wasn't even allowed to meet in real life, and he couldn't get any closer to her that the distance between the phone two lines.

_What do I have to do to make you love me?_

If someone watched closely from the treetops, they could've made out Sawyer walking to nowhere in the outskirts of the jungle, not concentrating on the earth in front of him.

_What do I got to do to make you care?_

Kate continued walking, almost willing to conclude that Sawyer had disappeared in thin air, not bothering to leave any trace that he had ever lived.

_What do I do when lightening strikes me?_

Jack had made himself a fire at the beach, for some reason not wanting to go back to the caves. He was beginning to understand why Kate liked the beach so much. It was calm, almost relaxing. You could lose yourself in thoughts, and after a while it was easy to forget that you were surrounded by a jungle, wild boars, some monster, and forty-five others that counted on you. After a while, Jack reached into his pocket, and pulled out a piece of paper and stared at it: it was Kate's mug shot.

_What have I got to do?_

Shannon walked up to Boone cautiously, approaching him from behind. Without saying a word, she sat down next to him, following his gaze into the horizon.

_What have I got to do?_

Sawyer had stopped walking ten minutes ago. He had gotten tired of going nowhere, and found it useless in the dark. After a few tries, he got a fire lit. Now he was lightening a cigaret, one from the five packs he had brought with him, and reached in his back pocket, where he had placed his letter. He was furious with Jack for reading it, and was ready to leave after their little chat anyway. The only thing he didn't get to do before he left was kill Jack, and Sayid too while he was at it. So far, he had been able to block out all the sounds of the jungle, but a new one got his attention. Twigs snapping. Looking up, he saw it was Kate, staring down at him.

_When sorry seems to be the hardest word.._

Author's Note: Well, there you have it: THE END. The next story, Special will be up soon, hopefully. Thanks to anyone who stuck with me and reviewed! Hope you'll be back next time!

Coming up for Special: Michael, lost in the jungle, has to find his way back with help from Locke and survive the interrogations about Walt's childhood(hehe..) while Kate and Sawyer take an awkward journey through the jungle that leads to a discovery that will help to find Claire.

Oh, just wanted to know, are my summaries okay?

Thanks again to anyone who read(especially to those who reviewed:)!

Until next time..

October Sky


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